The same face.

Can you guess who I am?

Am I the meticulous eldest child, in love with all things mechanical....turning gadgets on its side, determined to see and how it works. The one who runs to his sister's aid when she attempting to reach for something too tall for her, the one who helps his little brother make his bed in the morning.

Am I the sensitive middle child, the youngest son, who instinctively puts his arms around his mother while both peering into the oven. The one who cannot sleep unless his brother is in the same room with him, the one who puts away the plastic dishes on his own volition.

Or am I the sassy and independent youngest child, the only girl, who is in love with toting around the cereal box. The one who cooks in her play kitchen when her mother is cooking, the one who can convince her brothers to readily part with their toys.

They have the same face. But in their differences, they complete this family. And I love them with the same fervor.

Who's feelin' the heat?

It's really not right to have such warm weather in December, especially in our part of the country. It is 75 degrees! It should be snowing, in my humble opinion. Send me back up North where I belong! *giggle*

And did everyone realize that it is the 1st of December? I finally realized this morning, when I reread my previous post.

Who's feelin' the heat?

Greg brought up boxes and boxes of decorations, half of which I put up today. I love this time of year, but throughout the season I have to continually remind myself that beyond the lights, the presents, the parties, there is a spiritual meaning to this season. I found myself today starting to stress about the mess we (greg, me, and the kids) made in the living room, and I had to remind myself that ALL OF THIS, this prep, should be a means to exemplify and teach the Christmas (or other Holiday that you may celebrate) spirit. It should be about generosity, in our actions and words.

I have to admit that I am one of those parents that don't like too many gifts for my children. Most of the toys for my kids come from others, and we do splurge a little during Christmastime, but that is after the kids have gone through their toys and given some of it away. I am proudly a handmade gift giver (from myself or others), and I sometimes don't know how my (our family's) presents are taken. The value in it is time and love rather than money. At the same time I feel (and have been vocal to say) that by doing this, I am standing up against commercialism and overspending over the the Holidays.

Who's with me? Just kidding.

I just don't want my kids to grow up thinking that Christmas is JUST about stuff. I don't want them to get caught up in all of this materialistic hoopla, and find this season *empty* in meaning. And to do this, I need to remind myself to keep the religious, spiritual, and emotional meaning alive in our family.

And that starts with me not being angry when there is a mess from the Christmas decorations.

(see? this post somehow came back full circle *giggle*)

My biggest fans.

So this "mothering" thing I have been doing for the last almost 6 years...I admit they haven't all been selfless moments. I have not always been humble.

I swear, it's because of these Kids! They seem just to go with the flow: The Deployment. All of The Moving. Fielding their Loud and extremely opinionated Parents. And all of these Crafts! The countless experiments they have to endure being their Mama's guinea pigs.

But they not only go with the flow, they are just ecstatic. About everything. For example, I have made the ugliest shirts, and Cooper will insist on wearing them hot from the machine. Greggy's initial reaction is always, "that's beautiful".

And while I think I'm a pretty darn good bag maker, I need practice in every other endeavor. My knitting is almost always off, necklines on garments tug in some places, and hems aren't always on level. But somehow, my kiddos don't notice or care...they just know that they love it.

It really blows up a woman's ego, y' know? (*wink*)



Kiddos with their knit hats, made of BFL aran weight yarn. Dyed by Beemer Knits and imperfectly lovingly knit by Me :) . Accidentally made slightly larger, but appreciated perfectly by my Biggest Fans.

Sneaking off with Mom...

Despite the dipping temperatures (although it is no where near what I would like...I am a cold weather lover myself), I have been taking the kids to our local ice cream shop for a little sweet goodness. Just this last week we headed there at least 3 times, and I am not at all ashamed to say that it was at my request :)

The boys take their wondrous time looking at all of the tubs of creamy goodness, through the glass licking their lips. They get to pick whatever they want. Rafaella is patient, she knows she will share my cup.

Once they have picked and I have ordered we sit and enjoy our treats and we just talk. Sometimes the boys talk all at once, almost screaming, trying to say everything in their mind. Rafaella even starts in with her babytalk, and their voices echo through the parlor. I can't help but laugh the entire time.

It reminds me of those moments when my Mother used to take my brothers and I out for the afternoon. And what stays with me most were those occasions when she and I, alone, would sneak away to get something to eat and to chat. We'd tell my dad and brothers that we had an errand to run, and we'd find ourselves having lunch at a restaurant and not accomplishing much of anything but keeping our bellies full and our minds occupied with exchanged stories.

These days, when she comes here to visit from California, Greg just expects for us to make up an excuse to get out of the house, but he knows that we are at a local joint, stuffing our faces and cackling and gossiping.

How important those moments were...now looking back I know now that this was a way she kept connected with me. I remember at times I would just wonder *why* we had to do things together...what teen hasn't...

Now as a Mother, I can see that it has made all of the difference in the world.

*heart* - my children...

Today we visited some friends who just had their 2nd baby, a wee little one, a little boy who I got to hold...and at that moment I held him I realized how much bigger my children are.

Where has the time gone, that somehow I am five years older than when I was when I first held Greggy; goodness, Greg and I were just kids ourselves. I looked through my scrapbook tonight and was reminiscent...(though when am I not). Now my boys are in school, and Rafaella is growing to be such a little girl.

I wonder how I am doing as a parent. Each day brings its own surprises and what I thought was IT one day, is the OTHER the next. And then it is ANOTHER ONE the day after. Sometimes I think that all of this (parenthood, mentoring, teaching, loving) is just going so fast and furious. I think that the environment I am in contributes to it...bring the kids here, pick them up there etc etc ..

Tonight after the boys went to bed, I laid on the bed with Rafaella next to me...and when I held her the moment was absolutely perfect. 'twas heaven. All I have inside that I feel for her and for my children connects me to every aspect of my personal being as well as to the spiritual and metaphysical.

and then everything makes sense...even for that one second.

Goodnight...time for my coffee...

A picture is worth a thousand words.

This year begins my first of being the family taxi-driver. The One Who Bringeth the Children Everywhere. I think I get in the car to drive a minimum of four times a day, from having Greggy and Cooper in different schools...with opposite class schedules! Dear goodness, I have a long year ahead of me.

But just when I am about to hang my keys and curse this entire phase of our lives - and to think this is only the beginning! - something sweet and fulfilling comes about, and I am renewed.

A couple of weeks ago, I finally met dear Julia...a mama friend I only knew through Xanga...and with her budding, wonderful new Photography Business, we found a reason to get together. And she blessed us with her magic, sprinkled some pixie dust using her gracious eye and her fabulous camera...and an afternoon spent at a local farm turned into a lifetime of memories.

She sent me all of my proofs today, and what I saw was exactly what I needed to witness: a family growing, together.

These kids are mine. Good. Beautiful. Children. They came from God, and I carried, labored and bore them. And now they are their own personalities, they are all unique. But in their eyes, I see me, and I see Greg.

What an absolute honor.