The evolution of Mom.
Today I met the au pair of one of Greggy's classmates. She is a doll, very sweet, obviously attentive and M adores her. She asked me how old I was. She said I looked young.
She was surprised when I told her I was 31, and she thought I was more her age: 22 . I almost hugged her.
She asked me to coffee in the future, but I admitted to her that I couldn't guarantee time away. I am a full time mom with an Army husband. Therefore I don't have set schedules. I make child-free appointments weeks in advance, and hope my childcare options don't fail...otherwise I have three in tow.
Such a far cry from even 6 years ago, with none at my side, where Greg and I were so independent even from each other. I was so stubborn and anal; I rarely wanted to compromise. My job was my focus, and I was a workaholic...
Then came Gregory 5 years ago, where I adopted a perfectionist mother's attitude. As if I had control over the personality of this child. I was so idealistic, almost un-REAListic. And I was right., of course. Over everything, especially how my child should be raised, as how should others.
Cooper rocked my world 18 months later, challenging me with a completely opposite personality. I could not understand how my methods with Gregory did not work with the 2nd. Aren't they both my children? I started to learn to listen to my children. I allowed myself to stand back and to just Watch. and Trust.
Rafaella came 3 years later. My likeness. I see my face in her, and I have been knocked off my feet. Not only do I listen, and watch and trust, but I have learned that I can Close My Eyes and Use My Instincts. It will be alright.
Why it took me 6 years and 3 children to get me to today, I can never explain. Is it my age? I am surely busier now with the business than I ever was in the Army. Is it experience? Is it confidence? Or have I changed?
I hope it's for the better.
She was surprised when I told her I was 31, and she thought I was more her age: 22 . I almost hugged her.
She asked me to coffee in the future, but I admitted to her that I couldn't guarantee time away. I am a full time mom with an Army husband. Therefore I don't have set schedules. I make child-free appointments weeks in advance, and hope my childcare options don't fail...otherwise I have three in tow.
Such a far cry from even 6 years ago, with none at my side, where Greg and I were so independent even from each other. I was so stubborn and anal; I rarely wanted to compromise. My job was my focus, and I was a workaholic...
Then came Gregory 5 years ago, where I adopted a perfectionist mother's attitude. As if I had control over the personality of this child. I was so idealistic, almost un-REAListic. And I was right., of course. Over everything, especially how my child should be raised, as how should others.
Cooper rocked my world 18 months later, challenging me with a completely opposite personality. I could not understand how my methods with Gregory did not work with the 2nd. Aren't they both my children? I started to learn to listen to my children. I allowed myself to stand back and to just Watch. and Trust.
Rafaella came 3 years later. My likeness. I see my face in her, and I have been knocked off my feet. Not only do I listen, and watch and trust, but I have learned that I can Close My Eyes and Use My Instincts. It will be alright.
Why it took me 6 years and 3 children to get me to today, I can never explain. Is it my age? I am surely busier now with the business than I ever was in the Army. Is it experience? Is it confidence? Or have I changed?
I hope it's for the better.
Much love, Tif Johnson...written at 9:52 PM
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